Love and War

I realized that my actions are not always in alignment with my intentions, and I've lost track of the things I was once certain about. All I have left is hollowing uncertainty.

It's hard to see the one person you love the most abandon their feelings for you. It always seems to boil down to now or never, but neither is an option for me right now. Why is later always out of the question? My options seem so absolute, and I guess that scares me. There is no room for hesitation.

I love a boy who is charming and witty, but I'm in love with a phantom of the past. I can't seem to give my whole heart away because I don't think it was ever returned to me. When we emotionally invest ourselves, I have to question if we are running the risk of losing ourselves. If this is the case, is this the point in our lives where we begin to rely on others to feel complete? I mean, this is cray... right?

I'm scared that I will wake up one day and realize that my heart has been distributed to past lovers with no hope of return. This makes me wonder if love ultimately leaves us bankrupt.

I think its safe to say teenaged angst never perishes but instead, escalates to love and war.